Every parent wants the best for their child, but sometimes, in our eagerness to help them succeed, we might push our own expectations onto them. We may dream of raising a little doctor, lawyer, or CEO, but what if our child wants to be a musician, an athlete, or the next great video game designer? Supporting your child’s dreams without overshadowing them with your own can be a fine balance—one that requires patience, understanding, and a whole lot of deep breaths.
1. Listen Without Judgment
Your child comes home, eyes wide with excitement, and says, “I want to be a magician when I grow up!” Now, before you panic and start envisioning them pulling rabbits out of hats instead of getting a college degree, take a deep breath. The first step in supporting their dreams is to truly listen.
Ask open-ended questions like:
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"What do you love about that?"
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"Who inspires you?"
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"How do you see yourself making this happen?"
Your child wants to feel heard and valued. Dismissing their dream too quickly can make them hesitant to share their aspirations with you in the future. Instead, show genuine interest and curiosity—even if their dream seems a little unconventional.
2. Provide Exposure, Not Pressure
Once you understand your child’s passion, help them explore it without forcing them down a specific path.
For example:
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If they want to be a chef, let them experiment in the kitchen (and be prepared for some… questionable recipes).
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If they love painting, get them a set of art supplies and let them create their masterpieces.
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If they are interested in robotics, consider enrolling them in a STEM workshop.
Exposure allows children to explore their dreams at their own pace, rather than feeling like they have to commit to a lifelong career decision at age eight.
3. Celebrate Progress, Not Just Results
It’s easy to focus on end goals, but recognizing small achievements along the way is just as important. Encourage effort and persistence rather than just praising accomplishments.
Instead of saying:
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“Wow, you won first place!”
Try:
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“I saw how hard you worked on that! I’m so proud of your dedication.”
By shifting the focus to progress, you teach your child that growth and effort are just as valuable as reaching the finish line.
4. Offer Guidance, Not Control
It’s natural to want to guide your child toward a path that seems secure, but there’s a difference between guidance and control. If your child is passionate about a career that seems risky, have open discussions about it rather than immediately shutting it down.
For example:
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Instead of saying, “You can’t make a living as an artist,” try, “How do you see yourself building a future with art?”
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Instead of saying, “That’s not a real job,” try, “Let’s research people who have been successful in this field.”
Encouraging critical thinking helps them navigate their own journey while still feeling supported.
5. Love Them for Who They Are
At the end of the day, your child isn’t meant to fulfill your dreams—they’re here to build their own. Whether they follow a traditional career path or forge their own unique route, knowing they have your love and support will be what truly matters.
Children who feel unconditionally loved and accepted grow into confident, happy adults who believe in themselves. And isn’t that the ultimate goal of parenting?
Share Your Story!
How do you support your child’s dreams while balancing your own hopes for them? Share your experiences in the comments! And don’t forget to check out our other parenting articles for more tips on raising happy, confident kids.