Before kids, we swore we’d never let them watch TV during dinner, eat cookies for breakfast, or say things like, “Because I said so.” Fast-forward to today, and you just whispered “Please stop licking the window” for the third time in Target.
Parenting is wild. It’s beautiful, chaotic, sticky, loud, and somehow always involves missing socks and half-eaten bananas in odd places. But sometimes, the most relatable moments come from the weird, unexpected things that fly out of our mouths during the day.
Here are a few of those gems, the stories behind them, and why you’re definitely not alone if you’ve ever uttered something that made even you say, “Wait, did I just say that out loud?”
1. “Please stop licking the window.”
Yes, windows. Car windows, bedroom windows, restaurant windows—nothing is safe. I’m convinced kids think glass is some gourmet delicacy we adults are too boring to appreciate.
It’s in these moments you realize your parenting life is 50% refereeing and 50% sanitizing surfaces. (Side note: if you’re looking for a good distraction on long car rides so they stop taste-testing the windows, check out the ThermoBento Insulated Food Storage Box. Fill it with snacks and save yourself a meltdown—or at least redirect it into a full-mouth cheddar puff situation.)
2. “Where are your pants?”
You’d think pants would be a default setting, but alas—children believe pants are optional at best. Bonus points if your kid is already halfway to the mailbox, pantless and proud, screaming something about a dragon.
Between diaper changes, potty training, or that mysterious phase where toddlers just… strip for fun, you’ll say this a lot. Best part? They always have a perfectly logical answer, like “They were itchy,” or “I needed to run faster.”
3. “We don’t put toys in the toilet.”
You turn your back for 30 seconds and suddenly Barbie is scuba diving. Or worse—Legos are living their best life in the bidet. The toilet has been a spa, a sink, and one time, a hiding spot for a peanut butter sandwich.
These moments call for patience, disinfectant, and deep breaths. And maybe some tools for bath time that are meant for water, not plumbing systems. We love the AquaCushion Soft Safety Spout Cover—gentle on heads and ideal for avoiding injury during those splashy shenanigans.
4. “Yes, I see your dance. It’s amazing.”
If you’ve ever had to pause mid-conference call to watch a full interpretive dance set to “Let It Go” for the 47th time—you are not alone. It’s one of those moments where you wonder, “Is this what Beyoncé’s mom felt like every morning?”
But truly, those performances—however repetitive—are their way of saying Look at me, I matter to you. So yes, we clap like we’re at the Grammys. We “ooh” and “aah” like we’ve never seen a jump spin before. Because one day, we’ll miss those living room recitals.
5. “Can we just have a quiet 5 minutes?”
This one’s the anthem of every overstimulated parent in a house full of tiny humans who apparently don’t breathe between sentences. Whether you work from home, stay at home, or work outside the home—sometimes you just need to not be needed for five whole minutes.
Try stealing those micro-breaks. Hide in the pantry with your coffee, take the scenic route while doing errands, or simply announce it’s Solo Quiet Time Hour—even if it only lasts 4 minutes and 26 seconds before someone shouts, “MOMMMMM!”
Why These Weird Phrases Matter
You might think these soundbites are just silly, offbeat parenting moments—and they are. But they also reflect something deeper.
They show presence. They show engagement. They show that you're right there in the thick of it—choosing to parent with humor, love, and maybe a touch of exasperation.
And honestly? That’s more than enough.
How to Laugh More and Stress Less
Let’s be real. You won’t always have time to meditate, journal, or do yoga in candlelight. But here’s what you can do:
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Lean into humor. When you catch yourself saying something absurd, laugh instead of panic.
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Write them down. Keep a running “Things I Never Thought I’d Say” list in your Notes app. One day, it’ll be gold.
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Share with your people. You’d be amazed how many parents have also yelled, “Stop sniffing your brother!”
Also, don’t forget to gear up for the chaos. Little things like the right snack containers or car organization tools make a big difference. For example, if your car looks like a snack storm hit it, check out our game-changing ThermoBento box or the genius AquaCushion spout cover. Keep it simple, safe, and stress-free.
Final Thoughts: You’re Doing Great, Weirdo
If you’ve said anything today that made your pre-parent self cringe, congrats. You’re officially in the club. This season is wild and wonky, but it’s also yours—and those ridiculous phrases are proof that you’re showing up every day.
And hey, at least you didn’t say, “Stop painting the dog again” (…or did you?).